Probably the hardest lesson during Recovery was forgiving my own transgressions towards myself.
I didn't realize at first, but while sitting in that tiny room with six grown men, contemplating the difficulty between accepting other's forgiveness or God's or our own, and discussing the merits of grace itself, I discovered the root of my disease. Not the starting point, mind you, but the area which has kept me stuck for more than ten years. When the conversation turned my way I was struck with silence. Typically I'm not known as a quiet one, but I was afraid of saying anything. Nerves were not the issue. It was the simplicity.
"It can't be this." I thought. "Because the sense it makes is way too much."Read More